Whoosaahh...and Breathe! Don't Revert Back to B.C.

If I can be honest and transparent for a minute family, can I confess there are times when I do not WANT to be the bigger or ‘holy’ person? Sometimes my first instinct is to react with several choice expressions. I have my vocabulary full of dirty words and phrases ready to be articulated, my hip ready to hold my hand, my head ready to shake, eyes ready to roll, and the development of the conversation already have been rehearsed in my mind.

Many times I KNEW it had to be God covering my mouth and leading me out of a possible conflict, as a teacher pulling a student away from a potential fight that could be triggered by one aggravated word.

Now I will admit there have been times when I didn’t behave as the bigger or more holy person; however those incidents are becoming few, to the times when I have.

Recently, I have been in a predicament as I described above. I was ready to pick up the phone and give someone a piece of my mind and holy was nowhere near it. However, instead of picking up the phone, I mistakenly (a good mistake) picked up the Bible and the first scripture that my eyes fell on was Romans 12: 9 -21.

But the word that convicted me where I stood was Romans 12: 17-19, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes or everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (NIV)

OH honey! I was convicted but at the same time wanted to fall out kicking and screaming because I don’t like being the bigger or holy person all the time, especially when I’m angry. But God reminds me, that it’s ok to be angry, but not to sin (Ephesians 4:26).

So in the midst of frustration, anger, and all of these emotions, I am learning to take a step back and breathe. Because people are watching to see how you will react, especially once you start proclaiming to live your life for Christ. People want to test you themselves, so when you revert back to your B.C. days in your reactions, they can say ‘Oh I told you that he (or she) was still the same. They haven’t changed one bit! I told you!”

This has been a constant struggle for me because who wants to be continually disrespected, lied on or tried? But in the midst of all of those emotions that come along when I am angry, I hear Him say to me ‘Dana, do what YOU need to do to live in harmony with others, and don’t take revenge. I am watching how YOU respond and if YOU do all that YOU can do to live at peace with everyone without getting entangled in the madness, then I’ll take care of the rest.”

I hold onto that. I don’t know what you hold onto when you find yourself in irate situations, but I remember that God is asking me to continue to live in harmony, as it depends on me. Even if others don’t make peace a possibility. Do all that you can do, because that’s what you will be judged for. It’s like having a group assignment but the teacher is giving individual grades. You are only responsible and graded for your work and not the others.